On Being Nice: Wherein I spout opinions on growing up and stuff.

I don’t update this blog nearly as much as I had originally planned, and I always end up saying that at some point in a post. But I suppose I can get away with it as this blog is less so for other people and more for myself; in this day and age I find writing in a diary or writing notes for myself to read at a later date to cause me to add a certain blemish to the goings on of my life in such a way that might be designed to make me feel a little better about myself, whereas I’d rather sit here and think about people reading my words and those who know me who might turn around and call “bollocks” to any claims of grandeur I may have.

So this week I enter my 22nd year of life on Earth. And that has caused me to think more so than usual about the fact that I am officially going to be leaving behind all the claims to childhood and adolescence that I once had. I think it’s safe to say that when you’re 21 you’re still in that margin of youth that lets you get away with calling yourself a boy still, and it sounds very odd to say that I’m going to be a ‘man’ when I turn 22 on Tuesday, but it’s a good point to start thinking about how I’ve changed since I first discovered the world outside of my Playstation at the age of 15.

Granted I’m allowed to be incredibly proud of myself for a moment; I think I’ve grown up dramatically over the course of the past 12 months more so than during any other time in my life. I think I was pretty immature as a person up until Christmas of 2012, mostly because before then I had no idea what I wanted to do and had only recently found myself in a stable academic and professional position, and fortunately since then things have been consistently on the up. I think this is just because I have a better head on my shoulders now than I did then. And I’m just going to write about some things that have changed me since then, and how the past year has really had a significant impact on my life.

My mother always described me as a ‘homebird’ in that I was always going to be very attached to my home and the life I have at the family’s house in North Wales. It’s understandable for everyone to feel this way once you crash through the angst of the period between 16 and 18 and finally develop a closer bond with your family. But I think of myself more than most people as being brought up in the bubble of my own household, not to say that I didn’t have a social life or anything to do outside of home, but I was a pretty spoilt child compared to most with parents who I am eternally grateful towards for all the hell and hard work it must have been raising me and my brother to the age where we’re moving back to our second homes at university and returning to our own lives. Fortunately I think I’m comfortable to say that I’m not a homebird anymore and the idea of getting out into the world and doing stuff is more attractive to me now than it ever has been. So much so that the urge to get out and be productive in the world is pushing on my brain every single day I’m sat at home with nothing to do. So in that regard, I’m glad that I’ve become settled with the desire to move away and get out into the world, where previously I would have contentedly sat at home and done nothing for the rest of my life.

I think of myself as much nicer than I was, the whole two years before that Christmas in 2012 felt like a horrible battle with some nasty demons in my head that were constantly messing with the two switches in my brain that make me happy or sad. Some of my friends have been witness to this and have been incredibly supportive, but I’m glad that I’ve finally ditched all the emotional baggage once and for all. It’s allowed me to become more sociable, charismatic and chiefly has given me a greater sense of self-respect, this last one only really coming in to play in the last month or so. For anyone reading this and wanting to know how to become a nicer, well-rounded and respectable person my only advice is stop reading Wikihow, it is a massive waste of time and is about as valid as referencing Wikipedia in your dissertation. The only thing that made me click was to stop taking advice from others. That’s all I ever used to do, was to listen to others and assume that what they said was better than whatever I thought because there must be something wrong with me. Bollocks to that; whilst it’s all well and good to take advice from your friends sometimes, it’s never good to rely on other people’s opinions all of the time, you really have to take time to think about life for yourself and become your own person in that sense. It sounds bloody cliché and unmasculine, but it works a treat to “listen to your heart”.

A random tid-bit of information but something I picked up on whilst talking to a friend the other day and always good advice to keep in mind is that the age of information we currently live in causes people to rely on a sense of instant gratification; with high-speed internet, fast food, next day delivery and instant messaging all commonplace, we’re too used to getting things instantly, and trying to be as efficient and quick as possible. Whilst the benefits and usefulness of these things are obvious and brilliant, it’s still important to not get your knickers in a twist when someone doesn’t reply to your message in the next five minutes because the chances are they just haven’t seen it, or their phone isn’t on, or they simply might not have time. Another benefit is it’s easier to see if someone is worth your time at all, as many people over the past years I just don’t speak to because once I stopped messaging them endlessly it became apparent that they weren’t interested in me enough to make the effort. In reality things take a lot longer than you may initially think, so on the other hand it’s also a reassuring piece of information to keep in mind so that you don’t give up on something so easily. Patience is a great thing to have and will better equip you to sticking at something and letting it take it’s own course rather than you rushing everything and forcing yourself into a blunder and giving up because what you thought would happen didn’t happen by the following Wednesday.

It sucks, but being a realist about the loss of friends is another thing. I’ve seen friends come and go out of my life in droves, but that doesn’t really bug me nowadays because whilst I’m always eager to meet new people and make new friends, I know that there is a large core group of really great people in my life that I can always place first and foremost above anyone else. These friendships are always more important now more than ever in your twenties because by now you’ve known them a long, long time and still haven’t managed to piss each other off enough to see it all off. My friends are fantastically intelligent people with an all around terrific sense of humour, and despite school and college and everything, it’s great to see that every time we meet for drinks we can insult, berate and banter with each other without causing offence or feeling like twats. The friends that leave your life are ultimately the people that never gave a crap about you in the first place, but the people you still manage to see after moving away to university are the ones that are worth keeping around. So it’s best to just shrug it off and move on because feeling shit about it doesn’t help you get anywhere.

I’m reflecting on all this stuff and hoping it doesn’t sound too preachy, but I don’t really care because I’m writing this mainly for myself as a reflection over the past few years where I’ve really done the majority of my growing up. I’m definitely a more empirical and sane person than I was a year ago, and thrice as mature as I was three years ago. I’ve changed dramatically and become a more liberal and focused person with ambitions and goals that are realistic and achievable. I’m currently studying a degree I am passionate about at a university I love with friends I wouldn’t trade for anything else. So life is pretty on track now, and I’m glad because I’ve never been able to say that before to myself without waiting a second and adding a careful “but…” and then picking holes. But no, life is good and there are no problems at all.

The biggest tip I can give is just being nice. Again I’m resorting to clichés and terribly unmanly pieces of sagely wisdom but I can’t stress how much being a nice person isn’t just about being a completely selfless person who will put everything on hold for someone else, it’s about being someone people enjoy being around because they can tell that you carry yourself in a certain way, and being someone people can respect without putting yourself above them. Most friend groups I observe often operate in a fashion of Primus inter pares or “First among equals” and despite everyone claiming to be on the same level, there is always someone gunning for the top dog position. I don’t know if this is completely true or whether I’m just horrendously cynical at the same time, but I don’t try to see myself as above others and I don’t let myself fall below them either. I think if you want to be a nice person, that’s how you have to view yourself. People don’t like big egos in the adult world, and if they do it’s a sign you hang around with people who have a jarred view of reality and are probably twats.

I don’t expect this to be taken as gospel and I certainly don’t mean it to be written as a guide to life because like I said, this blog is written personally, for me. If other people can appreciate this advice though, I can tell you from experience that it’s a good way to approach life because I find myself getting less frustrated about stuff nowadays than I ever used to. But in plain truth it’s far easier to just be whoever you want to be and find people that appreciate that rather than be someone you’re not for the sake of others.

22 is going to be a great year for me.

Summer, boredom, elation, and life being great.

Dearest blog,

I have nothing to worry about. Life is good and I recently passed my first year of university with a better grade that I had anticipated, I also managed to get a summer job that I actually like. I’ve also been listening to a lot of good music, dealing with a lot of good people, and just enjoying the laziness of summer and not having to worry about anything at all. The weather has also been brilliant in Wales with scorching sun and clear skies constantly. In the coming weeks I’ll probably be going to beaches with friends, seeing films, going on nights out, and meeting people and sharing good times with friends I haven’t seen in a long time. I have absolutely nothing to worry about until September 2013 when I return to Aberystwyth to start my second year, which I can’t wait for because I don’t have to worry about my first year grades being poor, because they weren’t. I’ll be going back to good friends, cheap drinks and great times, alongside studying a course that I love and enjoy.

And out of all of this, I can’t help but complain over the fact I have nothing to complain about. If anyone needed any further proof of how British one can be, there it is. There really is nothing extravagant going on in my life, everything is just coasting along well and I’m pretty damn happy.

It’s a massive contrast really, because about four months ago I was struggling with depression which in turn affected my academic performance and forced me to make some pretty significant changes in my life. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy my first year of university, it’s been one of the best years of my life, but it’s pretty easy to have a good time out and about and then have to come to terms with your demons when all you have is yourself in a room. But my longstanding battle with depression and an obsessive personality has finally been kicked under the rug, and I’m not sure how I did it really. That’s the troubling thing, I’ll be cliché in simply saying “I just tried to be happy” because anyone who has ever dealt with depression will know that’s not how it works. But things just got better, and to this day I can attribute it to either a hormonal rebalance or just a certain shift of focus in my life during that time that really got me on the right track. But now exams are over, I have my results, I’m content with them, and I have the best set of friends that an excellent university experience can provide to look forward to when I return later this year.

Ironically I find myself hideously bored in the daytime at home. I have very little to do when I’m not working as most of my friends have jobs or girlfriends or other commitments, I simply have nothing to do at home but sit around and watch television. That might sound enviable to those of you with deadlines and commitments, but it’s actually rather dull; you sit around with nothing to do and at the end of the day you realise you’ve accomplished practically nothing. So I have to break that habit somehow soon. I’m going to start writing again, as I don’t do enough of it, and reading has been on the up as well. I’m going to make a follow-up post in the next few days detailing why I think History is important as a subject and how it defines us as people, something I’ve been wanting to write about for some time now. Further on that I’ll probably write a few short fictional pieces and throw them up on here when I get around to feeling somewhat creative.

This is the part of the blog where I’d normally reflect on some deeper part of my personal development and comment on how that affects me as a person. But seeing as there have been little developments in my life, I can’t. There is someone who has entered my life recently though with whom I am somewhat enamoured. I don’t want to wax lyrical in too much detail, however let me just say that it’s great to know and to talk to this person. Someone excellent that makes me happy.

On that note, I completed the book Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky, and it was probably the fastest I’ve ever read a book and the shortest amount of time for me to have absolutely no opinion on a piece of reading material to great admiration for it. It was an excellent read, and now I’m moving on to Looking For Alaska by John Green which is taking it’s time to really get me hooked, but I have little doubt that I’ll get properly stuck into it soon. I’m also reading Mafia State by Luke Harding which is easy to get into as someone who has a deep interest in the goings on of modern-era Russia.

I’ve been listening to a lot of new bands lately, namely Blind Pilot, Strange Talk, Phoenix, Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s, Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros and various other oddly named hipster acts. However I have continued my long-standing love affair with Foals after fully listening to their latest album Holy Fire and then re-listening to both Antidotes and Total Life Forever on repeat. I must say that Total Life Forever is my current favourite of the three, given the current heatwave hanging over Britain that matches the mood of the music so suitably.

So that’s that for now. I’d really like to write more about my life but I would probably just end up going into the mediocrities of my odd socks, my disapproval of Robinson’s Summer Fruits squash and the distinctive inability to travel on a bus to work without sweating out a swimming pool. I have work tomorrow, so I’ll write something after that and post it later next week.

Until then!

Humanity: A Short Rambling.

            I present a very optimistic appraisal of the human race. This short essay is based mostly out of blue-sky thinking, and wanton wishes of a future that would be very hard to achieve, if not very unlikely within our lifetime. It was written purely to play on my own ideas on what defines humanity, where we are, and what we need to do as a species to secure our survival.

Suggested Listening whilst Reading:
“Brooks Was Here” – Thomas Newman
“Any Other Name” – Thomas Newman
“Stop Coming To My House” – Mogwai
“First Breath After Coma” – Explosions in the Sky

            Earth; it’s a weird word. When using the it most people would commonly place the word as to do with the ground beneath our feet, the dirt that makes up the land we live on. To most the word ‘Earth’ might sound arbitrary, and wouldn’t at first be associated with being our home planet, however give that a thought for a bit. The Earth is our home; it is where our civilisation has spent pretty much the entirety of its time, with the only excursions from its cradling atmosphere taking place within the past half a century. Earth is, as you may know, home to our delightful little species known as Homo sapiens, as far as we are aware, the most advanced species in existence.

           I take great delight in defining and classifying Mankind and Humanity in my mind, it’s where most of my most entertaining and optimistic thoughts dwell, not on the scientific human species, but on the human race as a civilisation. Obviously the scientific history of the modern human species is of vast importance; without our primate ancestors we would not have grasped the use of tools, formed tribes and later societies, or invented language in the way we did. If not us, some other species would probably have took up the evolutionary opportunity, but we were best suited for the job, and we advanced and adapted whilst our cousins remained in their trees and grasslands enjoying the fruits of nature in a more nonchalant manner. So I suppose I should clarify the difference in my mind between Mankind and Humanity;

This is our home. We have to take care of it, and ourselves.

           Mankind: The civilisation, I believe that this represents the overall goals that the human species should recognise. That whilst cultural and ethnic differences do make our race a spectacular spectrum of variety and colour, we are ultimately all human. European, Asian, African, American; we are all members of the same species, and we are all direct ancestors of those first upright early humans that migrated from the African continent and spread throughout the world. Mankind is the idea that warring over territorial, religious, cultural or ethnic differences is a tradition left to barbaric and ancient civilisations. These differences do not matter in this day and age; as it stands, we are very likely to be the only species of our exact kind in the entire universe. Our cultures, history and languages are all unique, and should be preserved and cherished as such, not destroyed over petty differences. It is a long shot to call though, given the current situation in world affairs, it is very unlikely that we will see a unifying global movement of peace in the near future, and the continued pouring of money into defence spending and military technology will only distract our leaders from the ultimate goal to any species; it’s survival and preservation. The idea of Mankind is such that one day people around the world will recognise in majority that we are all the same, and that putting our faith in one global movement to represent humanity in all its various shapes and sizes is the way forward in an age where the population is expanding dramatically every decade. Pretty much like the United Nations, but in an ideal world where dictators and tyrants just back down and talk it out, as silly as that may seem, remember that I am painting an ideal future, no matter any lack of realism.

           Furthermore, Mankind is the idea that sometime in the future, Earth will be viewed as the home world of a vast sprawling inter-planetary species. I love imagining the nostalgia that might affect a lunar colonist at work on the moon, looking up to see the bright blue of the Earth’s atmosphere and thinking “that’s where we all came from” amidst the rumble of various space-aged machinery and bio-domes designed to support human habitation on other worlds. This wouldn’t be a colony in the sense of the colonies of European Colonial Empires of the 16^th and 17^th centuries; it would be a Terran colony; a colony established without national allegiance, there to represent mankind’s expansion into the solar system beyond its homeworld. The word Terra is Latin for earth in the sense of land, and in science-fiction it is often associated with Earth the planet, and Terrans are the humans who have expanded into a space-faring species across many planets, encompassing those Earthling Humans, Lunar Humans, Martian Humans, etc. Therefore I think it a useful term to describe humans of all planetary classifications, whilst linking them all back to the very world that bore them generations before. I do not know with what type of government these colonies or the central human society would be governed, but it would have to a carefully constructed and truly free and representative establishment. As a Historian rather than a Politician, it’s hardly my place to comment, however it would be best to have it done as simply and democratically as possible, perhaps requiring a reworking of all of the worldly governments.

The Pale Blue Dot: The famous image taken by Voyager 1 of Earth in the vastness of space, taken from 6 billion kilometres away.

           So these lunar colonists, these humans at work on the lunar colony, would be born on Earth to begin with, looking back at the blue marble which their forefathers once roamed across, they would hopefully see in this beautiful planet the true marvel and extent at which their species has come. Soon enough these lunar inhabitants would breed on the colony, leading to the first child born on an extraterrestrial planetary body. Would this child represent a new type of human? Would this be the beginning of a unique culture of Lunar Humans with their own ideologies, traditions, dialect and mannerisms? I’d hope so. Generations later, these Lunar Humans would look back at Earth and hopefully still see the distant origin of their ancestors, that blue planet representing our home, our cradle, and our origin. Extraterrestrial exploration and colonisation is not just in this sense essential to solving the looming problems of overcrowding on our home planet, as well as the depletion of resources in the ground; it is a moral responsibility for us to explore and claim the stars for our own, these uninhabited rocks neighbouring our world were born in the same chemical mixture during the formation of our entire solar system. Alongside this, it would ensure the growing example that the human race has a capacity to overcome its self-destructive and violent past, and to leap forth into a new, peaceful and prosperous future.

           Humanity: This second term deals more with the idea of what makes humans worth surviving. Why, as a species, do we deserve to expand, colonise, explore and evolve as a civilisation? Because of our humanity; whilst in modern times we see the news headlines riddled with dehumanising stories of death, disaster, war and disease; there is within all of us the ability to feel remorse, sorrow and empathy. Within every human is the capacity for compassion, and despite all the trouble in the world there are a great many organisations striving to preserve the world, save animals from extinction, help feed the poor and certain peacekeeping organisations intervene with those who seek to enact suffering upon others. This is an example (without going into too much detail) of how humanity has the capacity to care, and peaceably seek a resolution to matters. Now world leaders might say on the news that they want to see a peaceful outcome to the conflict in Syria, or they might say they want a peaceful end to the situation on the Korean peninsula, and why wouldn’t they? I’m sure that what’s everyone wants. However these are all idle words whilst either one of the sides refuses to negotiate a peaceful and fair resolution, and all the while munitions and weapons are being loaded up. To clarify; I am not anti-military, I do see the necessity of some sense of a defence force in order to preserve society from those who wish to cause trouble or do harm for their own gain. However the final figure as presented at the end of the second part of the Sagan Series by Reid Gower, ‘Life Looks for Life’ shows:

           A startling comparison. Defence of the people is a necessity, however at such an extent? Space represents the future of mankind, when warfare in most cases only represents its demise. Humanity is our ability to see just that, that things need to change, and things need to get better before they get much worse. Humanity is the clarity offered to our species by the fact that we don’t sit around in mud-huts, that we utilised the planet for our needs, and evolved with the ability to express our compassion and emotions in ways that other animals simply can’t. Love, in the various Greek definitions, Eros, Storge, Agape, etc. is what makes us more unique than some animals that merely have sex to procreate. Overall, Humanity is something that sets us apart from the animal kingdom, where Mankind encompasses our species’ vast civilisation and history, our Humanity is what should guide our moral compass as a race towards a future that benefits everyone, rather than hinders and destroys it. We understand that we live on a beautiful and diverse planet, but before protecting that, we have to also learn to protect us from ourselves.

           Historically, mankind has been a violent and stupid species, where wars have been waged and laws passed based on the belief of a supposed ethereal deity watching over us, as handed down to us in a compiled text written by a collection of shepherds 2000 years ago; then, as David Cross puts it, “re-edited, re-written, re-edited again” and so on throughout the centuries. This is a bad thing. Where instead we can just rely on the rational, the here and now, not the hereafter. Relying on the material world and the empirical evidence, you can still find it within yourself to live a moral and happy and fulfilling life. On this, another supreme essence of humanity is its spirituality, but one can find spirituality without outdated beliefs holding back society in the dark ages. I may not believe in the existence of a spirit or of a god, but I believe that my spirituality is defined by my passion and desire to see Mankind succeed and expand and adapt, for the better rather than the worse, where science is put to use in the betterment of people’s lives, rather than the destruction of it. Where people are free to pursue their own desires, not be hindered due to the ruling of an ancient establishment that derives its power from an invisible man with magic powers in the sky. A better explanation can be found in the video by AHughman08, ‘My Spirituality as an Atheist’. We, as a species, need to leave behind these old beliefs of old gods, and move forward into a new age of reason and enlightenment.

           I hope this presents a nice exploration into my ideas behind the concepts of Mankind and Humanity, and how they connect us to the planet we live on. Our time on this planet is finite, and we will not have an afterlife to call on, or another body to inhabit once we die. Therefore it is imperative that the time we spend on this planet is used to better the future of our species. I firmly believe that it is not the destiny of our civilisation to remain on this one planet forever, and at one point it even may be necessary to abandon our homeworld altogether. However I hope that is not for a long, long, long time. My ideal future is that where humans have expanded across the solar system, advanced politics into a truly fair and free society, mastered the habitation of other worlds and put all the fears that worry us today far in the past. Whether it be the first colonial settlement of humans on the Moon, or a terraformed Mars far into the future, resembling the green and blue of Earth, the introduction of wildlife onto that planet resulting in a completely new chain of events, birthing a new culture of humans.

Mankind, bound by Earth, unified by the principles of Humanity.

Let’s not fuck it up before we get there.

Dear Self: You’re a Fucking Insomniac, Get Over It.

Don’t worry this isn’t a cry for help at all. Life is great.

It’s been too long. This post will have to serve as a purely cathartic update.

2:39AM and I can’t sleep. I can never sleep. Since I was a kid I could never sleep. I am legitimately tired, but I still can’t sleep. I’ll crawl into bed and no matter how damn comfy it is, I won’t sleep. So here I am writing about it.

Once 2AM rolls around, I tend to become a different person. Annoyingly I think this person is more caring, thoughtful and sharper than the person I am in the daytime. It could almost be as if I’m a completely different person. Thoughts seem clearer and my drive to re-shape my life becomes sharper through some self-motivated clarity with which I’ll promise to change something about my life.

Well that’s bullshit, and what I hear a lot from people. The only logical reason why right now I feel shit and want to make a change is because when I habitually return to Facebook for my ritualistic update of social media information I am going to be bombarded with posts designed to reflect how excellent and perfect everyone’s life is. That cursed double-edged sword, how engaging and wonderful being connected to everyone is, but also how much it really fucking sucks the fun out of life.

Despite this, life is on the up. It is the beginning of a new chapter, I am going to take a lot more time out to engage my brain in new things and just be a better, more focused person. I’m also going to write more stories, they’ll contain swear words, drug-abuse, and fucked-up relations. I would write a story about a unicorn maybe, I don’t know. I’m too much of a romantic to write anything with a happy ending. I’d much rather write something engaging and shocking, something new that I haven’t tried before. Too many failed projects purely because I’ll probably upset someone; but the thing about being an artistic person is that you can never be truly satisfied with something you’ve created, and if you don’t upset someone then you’ve played it too safe.

I’m returning to University in just under a week. I’m dreading going back into exams and I’m going to miss home, but I’ll be back in three months to spend summer here and complain about missing Aberystwyth. And whilst I’m at Aberystwyth for the intervening three months I’ll probably write more complaining about how I miss home. And despite all this I’ll do my best to stop my posts from becoming repetitive.

I’m probably going to use this frame of mind to write something, but it’s even more likely I’m going to sit in bed and watch more Star Trek, as that has been a thing lately; lots of good memories with the Voyager series in particular. My cat isn’t in the room so that sucks. I might try and strike up a conversation with someone, see where that leads. I know one thing for sure; I am not going to sleep for some time.

A Haiku is neat…

A Haiku is neat.
It is short and sweet; well done.
Potato-toaster.

I am consumed by a lack of inspiration with which to write about anything. Second semester has begun and I’m plunged back into the vast swathes of literature that I must work through in order to get the required work done to a better standard than last term. Whilst not entirely bad, I could have performed much better.

I’ve been listening to a lot of new music lately. And by new, I mean songs and artists that I have had sitting in my bookmarks and libraries for months now and never had the will to have to tackle a completely new realm of music and get used to what new songs are good. I have this fantastic habit of making the simplest things, such as listening to music, seem a chore.

But overall I’ve been attacked by a lethargy. It could be because my sleeping schedule is slowly fixing itself (something I never believed I would consciously write) and I am actually tired before midnight. I just posted this to let you know that I’m still alive and this is still an active thing. I will probably begin work on a new post tomorrow, and given that I put considerable effort into editing the bigger posts to make sure they flow, are free of grammatical and spelling errors and that the content is relevant and I waffle less, that means they take a considerable amount of time to write until I’m happy with them.

The Pursuit of Happiness: Why You Are Doing it Wrong.

Good day, hope life is dandy. The purpose of this article is funnily enough hypocritical to its message, but there are several things I aim to do by writing this all out, they are;

• To explain why self-help books put across the wrong message.
• To direct a better approach to achieving a sense of happiness and fulfilment.
• To stress the importance of the writings of others from the past, rather than that of those in the present.
• To highlight the importance of greater issues in modern life, rather than to follow the social trend of watching crap television and dismissing the important subjects needed today as ‘boring’.

Though even if you have nothing better to do, I’d urge you to give the full post a read, let me know what you think, and let me know whether this has made you feel better in any way. I’d like the message to get across clearly and I’d like people to understand why I think these things are important. I remind you that this is all my own opinion and not the only way to achieve happiness. It’s more so that these are issues I think are lacking in people these days, and it could do a good deal to see them brought into more importance. Of course, to claim that this is the only way to be happy would run counter to the point of this thread.

Today I felt the need to write on happiness and the pursuit of happiness in this modern age, and I’ve come to realise that a lot of people are all too eager to base their way of life off that of others. People nowadays buy self-help books and attend seminars that costs a reasonable sum of money, it’s my opinion that these things just aren’t worth it in comparison to how much you actually get from them.

Happiness is derived from human experience and knowledge. Wisdom to pass down to others only from experience from a long and fruitful life. It is best to live in the moment and be grateful for it, than not at all and to be cynical.

Your standard self-help book, or at least the majority of the ones I have read, is terrifically adapted to the modern way of living and how to get ahead in this climate. That is; by being a forthright and headstrong go-getter in order to create an image of invulnerability to your peers. That’s at least what is described on the box, but look within and you’ll find that to go about that you often have to become self-centred, arrogant and rude. The last book I read was called “No More Mr. Nice Guy” by Robert A. Glover, it was given to me on suggestion by someone after a discussion on how to get more out of your interactions with women. Generally I knew that my way with women isn’t really in question and that I am quite a nice approachable guy and that I don’t really have any problems with talking to or interacting with the opposite sex, but I read the book as a curiosity. As it turned out, according to the book which has so much praise and accolades, the only way to have women respect you was to care more about yourself, ignore the wants of others and focus solely on your own, to put vanity and strength in front of compassion and selflessness. That’s the message I got from it, now in the modern world a majority of the women claim to seek that strong, powerful image in men, but in the long run that is a recipe for disaster in the relationship world. And there is a difference between being a man capable of holding his own as well as being a compassionate human being, and being a jerk. The book seemed to want me to become a jerk and to act brasher towards my friends and girlfriend, so obviously I ignored the advice.

As I said before, a majority of women claim to look for a headstrong and confident man, but when the girls get these guys, they can easily find out that the headstrong man doesn’t want to give ground in arguments, and doesn’t want to co-operate as he should in a relationship. Therefore I can safely assume that the headstrong, self-centred man is only good for relationships with little commitment. Then there are those who are both headstrong, confident men but also understand when they are wrong, or when it is better to reason and exchange ideas in order to come to a sensible conclusion through discussion. These are the real men; ideal to handling the confrontations and necessities involved in relationships, but also strong enough not to be taken for a fool when he is wrong. I can’t admit to being one of those men, but I’m only a 21 year old with comparatively little experience in the world compared to most role models who possess all these desirable traits, and on the whole you’ll find that those men have not had to rely on self-help books and articles.

Get some perspective on life, history, and everything. It’ll serve you better in life.

Scenes like this are frequent in history, men so embroiled and passionate as to take up arms against their own brothers in revolution. The same passion for political ideals cannot be said to exist in today’s climate. Is their cause a forgotten and meaningless one in today’s world? (Not exclusive to American Revolutionaries, as such revolution has existed across the globe for millennia.)

If you are a reader and rely on these kinds of self-help things, take a look at how many books you have read or own that deal with how to be a better character, or a happier person, or a stronger decision-maker. How much money have you sunk into that? And comparatively how happier do you feel? I can only talk from personal experience but I have probably wasted considerable time and money in trying to find the answer to being a better person before I realised that it’s got nothing to do with reading books and looking for answers from others who claim to be better than me. There were far more successful and happier men than me in the past, before self-help guides were readily available. What did those men read? They read the classics. Sure, that might sound boring and you might shudder when I mention names like Plato, Sophocles and Virgil. But whether writing fiction or not the stories and articles they wrote normally dealt with some significant and key part of human understanding or a part of life. Sophocles’ Theban plays deal largely with human suffering due to the faults of those with excess pride or power. Plato’s The Republic is a dialogue between several key Athenian figures (though fictionalised) on the rights and wrongs of justice and order. I have found consistently greater pleasure and understanding as well as a following sense of expanded self-worth after reading these classical pieces in comparison to self-help books. They deal more plainly and more practically with the rights and wrongs of human character, and often allow the reader to make their own judgements and interpretations, and these come from the very foundations of western civilisation as we know it. That is to say, the majority of how the world works now is on the whole due to what those who came before us had accomplished, and by and large those who take great success in life are the happier and more able ones, who then go on to write of their opinions for others. People read the wrong things nowadays, and instead of learning from historical teachers, philosophers, tacticians and leaders; we instead learn from pop-icons, drama queens, The Only Way Is Essex and failed doctorates with an incomplete psychology degree. The world is truly in a sorry state for sources of inspiration.

I would beg of anyone who is reading this and still seeking to find the answer to happiness, understand this; these is no ‘secret’ to happiness and no ‘key’ to success. That is for your own understanding and your own conclusions to make. You needn’t listen to others to tell you how to live your life, because that’s essentially like trying to take a square block and put it in a circular hole. This is someone imposing how they live their life onto your life, and there is no one true high and mighty way to live your life. I implore you to go to your stash of self-help books and studies and throw them out. Replace them with studies from the dawn of western civilisation and of modern thought, think deep about the issues they raise and the points they make, and come to your own conclusions on civilisation, politics and life. Continuing to buy into the trade of self-improvement by way of taking the word of others is impractical, whereas a wide verse of classical, political and historical knowledge may better equip you with the resources to come to your own conclusions that you make yourself, rather than ingesting that of someone else’s. The world today needs less people to brush off these subjects as boring and dull and meaningless; I find them fascinating, and I am by no measure a lifeless vegetable, I enjoy a brilliant and fulfilling social life in the outside world. We need more thinkers, people armed with the knowledge and capability of the past in order to make better decisions for the future, therein a more practical form of happiness is achieved, I find, by understanding your connection in history and as part of mankind or a member of a country or group or organisation. Apathy in politics is rife in today’s society, thinking it doesn’t matter, and that history is done and no longer relevant to today, these people cannot be more wrong. We need less people hooked to what Katie Price is doing and hanging on the teachings of Jersey Shore and the rest of those abominable MTV reality crapfests.

The Greeks established the first western universities and the belief that knowledge was a powerful and useful tool for men in the world of early politics and civilisation. It is important that people continue the tradition of teaching important subjects so that others may benefit from the mistakes or accomplishments of the past. We are the architects of tomorrow – to be cheesy about it – and we need this knowledge of politics, culture, justice and history, as well as a great many other core subjects.

For an example I will use the opinion on politics in the United Kingdom, and a lot of people I know don’t care or participate in elections or voting because they can’t be bothered, or they aren’t interested. As it goes, people don’t vote because they claim they don’t see how it will change anything. The logic of this reasoning is in itself flawed. The last UK general election had a turnout of around 65%, which means that 35% of the population were still without representation. That’s 21,924,350 people without proper representation of their wants in the commons. “But the politicians are all scrooges anyway” – Well, that may be so, but of the 419 registered political parties in the United Kingdom, not all of them can be corrupt. If more people knew what was better for the country and voted rather than sitting back and letting others do it because they believe it can’t be helped, then the entire system of a representational democracy is lost, and we might as well go back to being an absolute monarchy. Of course, that’s a very simplified argument and there are scores of other variables such as the parties involved, the size of constituencies, the number of seats, the voting system, etc. But still, you get the point. People who are apathetic about politics can hardly hope for real change, and on the whole, they don’t understand enough to hope to do anything about it. Knowledge really is power, in this case. And even if the current political system is hopelessly corrupt, at least there would be more people who could do something about it.

In short, if you’ve read this far, you’ve done well enough to take a step in the right direction. Now the rest is up to you, I can’t tell you how to live your life but I can point you in the right direction and set you on your way. I am no psychology master, I am a history student, but I feel a greater sense of understanding and connection and responsibility from starting with the classics and working up, than from reading the ramblings of a quack professor of whoknowswhat. I hope this post has inspired someone to take up an interest in some of the more important studies and to yearn to get a better understanding of where we came from and what we are in society, the rights and wrongs and to become a better person through knowledge and wisdom.

I leave you with this video.

Thanks for reading, spread the message.

Spirituality.

This is a post that I put together on my Tumblr a year or so ago. I’ve edited and expanded upon some of it in line with my evolved views since then.

Just a disclaimer: Yes, this post will involve views on religion, spirituality and the afterlife. If you are going to respond to this post with “you’re wrong because…” or similar and press your beliefs on me, then please don’t bother, you won’t help, and I won’t listen. However, if you’d like to just see how my mind explores things rather than your own, continue reading.

A street in Wrexham.

It is 4:06AM, I’m still awake.

Though this isn’t really a bad thing, I’m more creative and active during these night-time hours. I should really sort this out and get a decent sleep schedule sorted, but it’s not abnormal for me to start writing, or reading, during the hours I should be asleep.

Blogging is harder than I initially thought; nowadays people have to blog to an audience, and that audience may not like what they read. I have noticed that throughout the five or so blogs I’ve manned since 2005 that I tend to blog about the melancholy and despondent. But I’ve realised that this blog in particular isn’t like the others; the others weren’t as personal as I’d like to make this one. Like all others though I have a lot of stuff I’d rather keep to myself, but I feel that I can use this as an outlet for some of the opinions that I wouldn’t be able to raise in public discussion. Love, theology, politics, dreams, etc.

I’ve been thinking a lot about spirituality lately; now I realise this is an ethical hot potato to be talking about on a blog, let alone the internet, but I have friends, or have talked to people, from a variety of walks of life. I’m trying to travel as much as possible, and I’m making it my goal in life to learn more and more each day. Keeping this optimistic frame of mind has kept me in a happy place through the darkest of times, and it’s this philosophy I try to live by every day. I’ve never really considered myself an atheist, I’m just not prepared, and probably never will be, to say that there is a spiritual yes or no. I consider the likelihood of a higher power operating the universe to be incredibly slim, but I don’t have the concrete evidence for or against. What really bugs me is, as an agnostic (I use the term loosely to define my “I don’t know” stance), most people expect me to settle on “There is no such thing as God”, which is completely untrue. Most people aren’t satisfied until they have your spirituality pegged. My response to this is usually “If you want to know my thoughts of religion, you’re probably not going to like the answer”. My definition of God might be a little different from yours though. If I was to put myself to a label, I would place myself in the Humanist camp. At the face of it I’m a member of the British Humanist Association and a part of University’s Atheist, Secularist and Humanist society, so these are matters that I obviously care about deeply.

Faith is another matter entirely. God may exist, as some Christians can put it, but he’d never reveal himself to us as that would rid us of the need for a test of faith which is supposedly required to get into heaven. I’ve placed my faith in the empirical up until now, and it has served me quite well. I’m not hating on those who actually have the faith to believe without seeing, as I find that the practices and causes involved in all manner of faiths over the planet are deeply humble and noble, and I’m all for any movement that brings people together in an effort to spread goodwill and peace. I support peace for all mankind, prosperity and the progress of the human species as well, but I don’t consider it fair for me to be any less a spiritual person because I do not believe in one Supreme Being.

A street in Rome.

I never really considered myself Christian. I grew up in a Roman Catholic family, we had the Anglican doctrine in Primary School, and we were reminded of it in Secondary School, but I never really practised it, or went out of my way to go to Church, except on family events. It’s not that I didn’t care for religion; I was, throughout my childhood and early teens, concerned for my soul and what happens in the afterlife, I was just altogether not ready to commit to one almighty belief, as fed to me by another. I never considered myself to be one of the “lazy Christians” either, the ones who say they are but don’t practice, at the time I didn’t know where I stood, and part of me thought that these were questions I was tremendously unprepared to tackle. I never considered myself a bad person for it either, I still do the logical common sense things that tend to run throughout all religious teachings; Taking a day off a week for rest and reflection, exercising some activity in the interest of our world, showing kindness and compassion to others, and keeping up with the general odd deed of good-will to someone who seeks help. And when I’m not doing any of those, I don’t exactly indulge in the debauch or risqué to feed my horrific human desires. So I don’t exactly see a problem with what I do in regards to my own spirituality.

I think I really began to come into my own when I turned 18. After I’d finished my A-levels I had time to actually explore myself philosophically and to think about bigger picture stuff. At this time I was in a daze of euphoric joy as I entered one of the high-points of my life. Between college and university I spent most of the summer with good friends in good company and having the best times of my life. I could drink, smoke and go wherever I wanted and suddenly all of these pleasures previously restricted were mine to take at liberty. I began to read more, talk more and flesh out my ideas on life, the universe and everything. And I’m still finding that stuff out at 21. Over the past three years my philosophy has shifted dramatically, and here’s where I’m at so far;

In regards to the afterlife, that’s a massive grey area. No-one can really know for certain what lies beyond death, but I certainly don’t think it’s just emptiness, because even as someone with a generally rational mind and a decent-enough grasp on scientific theory, the concept of “nothing” still seems incredibly alien and borderline impossible (which itself “nothing” being “impossible” is also impossible because nothing is nothing. Hey guys, we just created a paradox, somewhere a Black Hole is crying… or sucking light in at intense velocities; again, that’s up for your interpretation).

I’d just like to quote Carl Sagan on the matter;

“Personally, I would be delighted if there were a life after death, especially if it permitted me to continue to learn about this world and others, if it gave me a chance to discover how history turns out.”

Coffee with a close friend.

Despite all this belief of mine being seemingly wrapped-up in a very nice, altogether Human and Earthly manner, it still leaves me haunted. The absence of a deity at the top of the pile is something to be desired, after all, it has been Human nature over the past 2500 years at least to seek closure, affirmation and alignment from higher powers, just as much as it is nature for Humans to conjure up stories in order to rationalise bad things that go on in the world. Though, with regards to the closest religion I’ve ever gotten to, Christianity, and its many, many, many, many, many, many sects and variants, I’ve only ever been met with greatly conflicted emotions, arguments and enough angry people to form a new religion altogether. And on top of that, which Christianity is the right Christianity? Building on that point, I do realise that some people are intensely grateful to their church and their faith, for that I have nothing but the deepest respect and not the slightest trace of ill-will against them.

Those statements and questions are probably going to be met with some hostility at some point by some people, but that’s not the point of this post. I’m merely asking myself to consider, for myself, how to address these issues. Writing them out like this helps give me clarity, having an audience gives me more of an urgency to write it out. Therefore, I’m not poking at anyone’s right to believe what they want to believe and I’m certainly not calling out any religion as being untrue; If you interpreted anything there as being any of those things, then you are a very, very stupid person.

My Family – Makes it all worth it.

I can sum up the definition of my spirituality in just this;

I’ve done a lot of things in my short time on this planet, and my life is the only one I’ll know as far as I’m aware. I don’t know where I’ll go after this life or what will become of my conscience, but I know that my body will cease to function, I will be buried in a hopefully respectable fashion and as my body fades away, only pictures will serve as any image of what I looked like, my family will be my legacy and my children will be the closest living embodiment of my genetic code and the unique things that make me who I am. What I’ve done in my short time on this planet will be a reminder to the type of person I was and people will hopefully recall fond memories of times spent with me. I’m not scared for this, for as far as I can biologically understand what’s there to fear when you can’t experience it? In my lifetime now, I’ve done so much in such a short time and there’s so much more I want to do, I live in a beautiful and open world filled with all manner of amazing people and things to see. I have travelled to other countries and seen some of the most beautiful pieces of art known to have been crafted by man, and I have seen the legacies of ancient empires. I have seen the most calming of crisp winter mornings and the most entrancing of nights out in cities and countryside spent just in awe at what is around me, times like these are the best when it just feels good to breathe. I have loved a great many friends and I have felt the rush of excitement upon being in good company that just makes me want to laugh, scream, shout or cry. When I know that so little in this world has elicited a great many emotions in me to make me love the world we live in, I know that there is so much more I have yet to learn.

That’s my spirituality. And, I’m happy with it for now. It suits me, saves me from the extent of the ravenous Human desires, and gives me space to relax and be thankful for the wonderful family, friends and experiences that I’ve been blessed with.

Phew, that was something. I’ve never really expressed in writing, or any form at all, my actual views on spirituality and how I perceive them in the world around me. It feels a lot better to have got it out and said it. That was only the short-form, and it’s probably a little messy. But you’ll have to forgive me, it’s now 2:27AM and I’m all blogged out.

I’ll update soon.

Adieu!

Sic Infit.

If this blog is to serve as my own personal think-tank, then I should get some thoughts down sooner rather than later. So first of all, hello! I’m going to skip the introduction as there is a link somewhere near the top of the page for that if you want to learn a bit about me and what I do.

Aberystwyth Seafront.

Life is good. I am wary of the implications of sod’s law on saying such things but I think I’m confident enough to say it. I’m thoroughly enjoying my studies here at Aberystwyth and this place is beautiful. I’m really impressed by the place and I don’t think there is anywhere in the United Kingdom I’d rather be right now. It’s exactly where I need to be at this point in my life. For those of you who don’t know, Aberystwyth is a small coastal town in the middle of nowhere in mid-Wales. Despite the remote location, the place gathers a large student population and pretty much everyone in town is a student at the university. The locals, despite being mostly working class Welsh folk, seem oddly nicer than other Welsh people I’d met. Maybe they’re just used to the influx of youths, or maybe it has something to do with the low crime-rate. Seriously, this place is a safe haven of a student paradise in a comparative mountain-range of sheep.

Why Aberystwyth? I don’t know really. I saw the place on a list of universities in the Times a couple years back and thought “hey, a beach that isn’t covered in fag ends and Carlsberg cans, neat!” – And here I am. This is probably about four years after the initial interest. Since then has been a very crazy ride of veritable academic limbo; a re-sat second year at A-level, a false start at another university, and a lot of wasted time in between. I’m glad to be here now though, finally on course and knowing what I want to do! The study of History! Most people laugh at me for the pride I take in being a History student nowadays, but the jokes on them. I am actually doing a lot of work, in fact, I should probably be writing an essay on Soviet Economics in the Second World War right now, but I think I’ve earned my break. This amnesia-induced creativity at 1:30AM is the staple of a student lifestyle I suppose…

A view from my university halls window.

In those wasted years however I had a lot of time to flesh myself out philosophically; I realised I have a lot of underlying  issues going on in the old brain and that they still need ironing out. I’m by no means perfect, but I’m coming to grips with it. I went through about four different religious standpoints before settling on the one that suits me best – which? I’m sure there’ll be a post on religious matters soon enough, but you probably won’t like the answer. I’ve definitely done a bit of growing up and become a bit more independent as a person though, which is good. Yet I’m amazed by how I can slip back into being a kid again as soon as I get home. I don’t want to leave for Christmas yet though! It’s only been about six or seven weeks since I moved into the student halls here and I’ve only got four weeks or so until I’m leaving home until January! Hell, by next week I’ll have completed all of this term’s coursework and be hitting the books for exam time. It seems to be going a lot faster than I presumed, and this sucks because I’m really enjoying it! I don’t want the time to go so fast.

Oh, I’m also a homeowner now! After sorting out the paperwork today and negotiating typical student-esque lack of cash monies, I have signed for a house for next year here at Aberystwyth! I’ll be living with seven people, which sounds like a lot but really isn’t, who I’ve made friends with whilst at Aber. They’re all top-notch people.

I should be asleep. I’m up at 2:22AM now, having given a few days pause between the latter paragraphs and I’m still suffering from this insomnia-fuelled burst of inspiration. So I’m gonna go to sleep now and post this. Goodnight.